Bright Window

I became addicted looking through this bright window

I see good and evil, both pleasant and unpleasant, full of personality, full of dreams

My eyes locked to it for an entire day

Fingers walk like a professional tap dancer

Ears are enthusiastic like a monkey playing cymbals

I didn’t hear the room were screaming at me

I even forgot that I was in the room all the time

The room which begging for my warm embrace

Rain falls heavily, but the window keeps getting brighter and brighter

I looked through this bright window

My eyes burned by the light

Then I realized I need the shade

I looked through this window

“Oh.. I see”





“I’ve got nothing to hide”

It’s a narrative where that person is a free-ass-sickening-bitch

That’s penguin’s poo!

Everyone got something to hide, we have our own realms with plethora of secrets.

Secrets we seal and buried deep down under hoping it would not burst out because of society’s myth fabrication.

The anxiety of getting rejected and thrown out from society is probably one of the top problem in an individual’s life as a social being.

Seeing of what is going on for human is quite a progress in terms of freedom of expression, even-though there’s still a lot of clash between different perspectives, moreover a growing phenomenon of different niches of “-ism”. Bringing arguments and honest opinions toward other group is not always end in peaceful dialogue. ‘Tis what they called reserving to avoid conflict. That’s why sometimes a person don’t share their dark or traumatic experiences.

I believe there’s an art of how you do freedom of expression in public and political landscape in order to obtain the grand aspiration of humankind.

So too in individual level, there’s an art on how to build a relationship and having a quality reciprocal communication. Even a BFF relationship doesn’t even mean that they both have nothing to hide with each other, there’s a certain facade or dimension we need to hide. But build those relations one step of a time? And it will become a translucent diamonds (wth did I just say?)



A thought

We (human) lives with (Abrahamic) religion as our philosophy of life.

The best morals indeed are in there

Thrives like a mushroom spreading it’s spore like a Krakatoa’s ash

Seeds of peace is being sprinkled all over the place

The law derives from, we live by it, we survive

but the soul will never be pure and flawless

Cause the brain reigns in our physical body claiming its sovereignty


Who even can resist when you’re brain told you to disgust abnormality?





My lover

Video Games


Role-Playing Games

Martabak Manis

Indonesian-style anchovy

Any-style of squid

Swimming (New hobby)

Reading (A thing that I try to love but so hard)

Listening music (Pitchfork and Metacritic are my gurus)

Piano or cello (although my skill is below average)

Navy blue

Forest Green

Shopping (really?)








Get depressed



Video Games

Video Games

Video Games

Understanding friends


Learning Hypocrisy

I tend think that one of the decent human are people who spend all their life meditating. No idea what the purpose of it, but they look as if they had known the answer for the mysteries of life. For we live in this world just for a moment, of course it will not last forever. Resisting human crave and other intentions, because they already know the act is utter meaningless.

The popular monotheist’s grand aspiration is the afterlife. May not entirely true, but the main idea something goes like “good deed equals happy afterlife”. That’s it, there’s no other frills to think about. The majority of people in the world wouldn’t have to bother Capitalism if they believe the holy scripture is the absolute answer. Oh what a good world indeed if it filled with zealots, I’m sure it would feel like paradise on earth (ha ha).

Our modern civilisation mostly shaped by Capitalism that sprouts the fruit of innovations. We enjoy these innovations for granted and yes we thrive and fall from it. But innovations is just a mere glitter or toppings of life from the popular theism perspective and we actually enjoy it. Pampered by the touch of technology we assume that it might not be available in the afterlife so we accept it, make the most out of it while still living and use it without knowing the history behind it.

Living ostensibly normal is what humans good at.


At first, I thought my ear was the culprit

And then, I guess it is my state of mind




I tried,

But I guess my neurons isn’t moving in the right direction

Perhaps my synapse busted? Or maybe it’s just the wind

Frankly speaking, my cognition seems more reliable back when I was kid

It felt cathartic

What happen?


I prefer to think that there is nothing happened with this body

but the more I think, the more I think more

Every present is robbed by thoughts


But it’s not the time that I’m thinking

It’s the pain in thinking about something

Something nonsense, too nonsense that you just can’t get it out

It pains you to the point that you felt guilty about yourself

It feels like the neurons just turned into balls of steel that pin-balling to-and-fro inside your very own skull smashing the inner wall


No last resort, it’s just a catch-22 that you have to let loose every single day