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At first, I thought my ear was the culprit

And then, I guess it is my state of mind

 

 

 

I tried,

But I guess my neurons isn’t moving in the right direction

Perhaps my synapse busted? Or maybe it’s just the wind

Frankly speaking, my cognition seems more reliable back when I was kid

It felt cathartic

What happen?

 

I prefer to think that there is nothing happened with this body

but the more I think, the more I think more

Every present is robbed by thoughts

 

But it’s not the time that I’m thinking

It’s the pain in thinking about something

Something nonsense, too nonsense that you just can’t get it out

It pains you to the point that you felt guilty about yourself

It feels like the neurons just turned into balls of steel that pin-balling to-and-fro inside your very own skull smashing the inner wall

 

No last resort, it’s just a catch-22 that you have to let loose every single day

 

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The Coward’s Perception of History

Long ago,

Far beyond the agricultural and cognitive revolution

Human or what scientist call Homo Sapiens-the intelligent being who survived the Homo species survival. Live in nomadic way, moving to-and-fro in community (small group of people). Simple as Chimps, Orangutans and Bonobos.

They don’t even know the concept of time. Hell to six o’clock in the morning

Their life is abundant with variety of diet, meats to berries. Every day different food. I ain’t gonna eat rice again

They take care of each other willingly.

Children follow Parents way.

But history does more for their brain. It developed into ingenious brain with many tricks.

Millenia came in a second and capitalist emerge creating their own imagined order. Science and Politics collaborate inventing the age of enlightenment. Industry is taking over the human mind.

Everything is market and can be sold. Individuality is always a concern. Individuality is a state concern, the world concern it. Romanticism Consumerism is a number one principal. A Cold War of Ideologies (Liberal, Communist and Conservative), competing whats better for human civilisation.

Seven billion people and still counting

Homo Sapiens is way too creative for their life.

Chaos or Order is an oblivious thinking or even a taboo in the modern day society.

 

The Struggle Blending-in in Social Occasions

I confidently call myself a pure introvert, but please note that an introvert does not mean necessarily I avoid many meetings with my friends and others. I do love meeting with people and have a nice conversation about life.

Same as an extrovert, sometimes I do like when those meetings include some partying and over-the-top stuffs. But being in those occasions and shifting myself into an extrovert will drain my energy a lot and of course in the end withdrawing from the crowd to gather myself again.

These are the things that I feel every time I do my social custom, it’s not that torturing shifting into an extrovert for a while. The problem is that I can’t do that for a long time like my extrovert friends do. The story goes like, I meet with friends enjoying some chit-chat, laughing, playing some games, laughing again, and then there’s the time I’ve had enough and exhausted which in turn will make myself extremely reserved. It’s what I do every single occasions I’ve had.

My best friends do not take this as a problem when I do this, they didn’t even notice about it (which is a good thing and what should’ve been), so I usually happy hanging out with them. Other than that it’s a different story. A country where having an extrovert trait is deeply regarded and does not aware the existence of different dimensions in human personality thinks that an introvert trait is not an ideal character for a person. Many of my friends think I’m weird for being a reserved person, which in the end getting labeled. It’s a struggle for me every time an appointment will come. The occasions made my looking glass self more profound.

A lot of choice in life, but do you have the guts to take the risk?

The inevitable part in a human life is deciding where it will go, do you enjoy the status quo that you’re living right now? Or you do have a plan but don’t know where to start and probably don’t want to take the risk.

The purpose is to get a better quality and meaning of life for yourself, everyone have their own meaning in life. One of the popular one is to contribute for others.

Besides meaning of life, people want to achieve high to get their needs, and in the end to get what Abraham Maslow calls “Self-Actualization”.

Trials and Tribulations is what we call the obstacle we face to achieve the needs. It is complex, multi-layered, multi-faceted, multi-dimension. Obstacles from technical, practical, political, social, cultural to spiritual. We sometimes scared to get out of our comfort zone and go through the norms. Misfit is not an option for the majority.

This attitude of “stay safe” in the status quo is what rooted inside of some of the new generations. Staying safe by conforming to the society made their anxieties and depression develop and let’s hope it will not go further to self-harm.

It takes most of your asset to take a huge risk, but time will pay what you have sacrificed

Netizen do need Slacktivist

Mungkin pada awalnya saya akan menjelaskan terlebih dahulu apa itu ‘Slacktivism‘ sebagai pengantar.

Pada intinya, slacktivism (atau bisa juga disebut clicktivism) merupakan fenomena atau pandangan (ideologi) dimana seseorang melakukan pendukungan terhadap isu-isu sosial yang ada di dunia, dengan hanya memberikan efek praktikal yang sedikit atau bahkan tidak ada. Seseorang melakukan hal ini hanya untuk kepuasan diri sendiri karena dia sudah melakukan kontribusi. Salah satu contoh konkretnya adalah ketika seseorang mengakses internet dan melakukan persetujuan suatu petisi dengan cara meng-klik saja, tanpa ada niat untuk turun kelapangan. Sederhananya orang-orang Slacktivism (Slacker) merupakan mereka yang malas aktif dan bergerak dalam mendukung isu sosial, oleh karena itu mereka hanya sebatas mendukung melalui ‘klik’ tersebut.

Mungkin bagi pihak tertentu akan muncul dalam benak dirinya dalam menganggapi slacker: omdo (omong doang), hipokrit, ga guna, dsb

Tapi di satu sisi slacker ini membatu kita dalam satu hal, yaitu menumbuhkan awareness bagi masyarakat Internet. Lihat saja, kita sebagai internet user dan mayortias dari kita cenderung akan memerhatikan dan berpikir “what is the trending topic or the hot issue right now?” ketika mengakses internet. When you’re accessing tumblr, youtube, twitter, facebook, or other platform, pasti ada fitur yang akan memberi tahu apa yang sedang hot-hot nya: Top Viewed, Top Favorite, Trending Topic, etc, dan kita cenderung untuk mempertimbangkan hal tersebut dalam mengkonsumsi konten. Sebagian besar, semua hal ini terjadi karena kehadiran Slacker. Secara laten, mereka sebenarnya melakukan kampanye awareness terhadap hal-hal yang mungkin berarti bagi internet user lain.

Yang tadinya kita tidak tahu, kita jadi tahu karena slaker -yang juga mungkin teman-mu sendiri- meng-klik dan menyebarkannya. Bagi kita yang merasa isu sosial tersebut doesn’t clicked your heart, then all you do just click it and be a slacker. Tapi jika ternyata isu yang disebarkan slacker tersebut menyentuh hatimu, then you can be an activist of that social concern! So that means, a slacker can influence you to be a slacker or an activist.

All in all, people do need slacktivist, at least to bring a social awareness about the world problems

Responding Towards the Social Media Like the Luddites?

Mendengar kuliah rabu minggu lalu, saya dapat menggambil satu kesimpulan that the new media are mobilizing human towards a new culture. I can’t tell specifically what kind of culture is stimulated to us by ‘this’ new media, but it is related about making (producing) and receiving (consuming) something instantly. Dan nyatanya kita sangat suka dengan tawaran-tawaran internet yang menggelegar, apalagi Social Networking Sites. Tapi apakah internet (sosial media) ini memberi hal yang signifikan bagi kehidupan kita?

Long time ago pada abad ke 19, muncul suatu kelompok yang bernama Luddite, merupakan golongan buruh tekstil di Inggris yang menolak masuknya perlatan-perlatan teknologi baru kedalam pabrik. Mereka tidak mengingin jika pekerjaan mereka digantikan dengan mesin-mesin terebut. Jika dikaitkan dengan konteks sekarang, Luddites adalah mereka yang menolak untuk menjadi ketergantungan pada teknologi, and (of course) that includes the internet. Mungkin contoh konkret adalah orang-orang tua (generasi baby boomers) yang sebagian besar dari mereka masih gaptek, moreover mereka sepertinya merasa internet pun tidak akan memberi peran yang besar baginya. Not only the baby boomers, tapi ada kelompok lain yang ahli dalam bidang teknologi informasi tapi mereka tetap tidak menyukai hal-hal tersebut. Jadi, apakah kita harus menjadi seperti Luddite?

Menurut saya, social media tidak memberikan keuntungan yang sangat besar untuk kehidupan kita. Kebiasaan masyarakat sosialita untuk ‘kepo’;’stalking’; ‘what’s on your mind’ whatsoever et cetera.. they’re all just a desire, and yet also we spend most of our time just scrolling our twitter and facebook timeline. Ya memang kita pake twitter untuk cari informasi, but in the end you still fancy looking at your friend’s tweets (duhh).

This social media thing, as Manuel Castells say, are making the internet as a very fabric of our society. Internet merupakan bentuk/tenunan dari masyarakat dan sudah menjadi bagian dari masyarakat. Tidak hanya membentuk budaya baru (bersosial lewat SNS), tetapi internet sendiri juga menjadi budaya masyarakat, as we called it as the “Information Society”, we can get any information in an instant and also producing an information in an instant. All in all, (I’m sorry to repeat it again) I came to a conclusion that the social media culture is not a needs.

You may use social media, but you should also be skeptic like the luddites about them. Social media makes you popular? So what? does it make you happy?

Not me

Here’s an interesting article that you can relate

Classified? Confidential? Well not Anymore! How about “Tor Network”?

This is you at elementary school:

Internet adalah hal baru bagi saya, to me it’s like a magic window, anything you want, with a single click, your wish of content will pop-up on the screen. Karena dari SMP hobi saya main game, all that I did to internet was searching walkthroughs about the game that I play. Search, search, search all the way. Then came friendster, an SNS with testimony as its main feature. Salah satu syarat untuk punya akun friendster adalah: mengisi biodata, I even forgot if it’s optional or not, but oh well I don’t give a sh*t, so I fill all the effing things that they asked me to fill. “Eh nanti kasih testimoni ke gw dong” that cliched statement -_-… Back then, internet were kids’ best friend

This is you at Senior High School:

Twitter & Facebook! Yay.. still I don’t give a damn about privacy.

This is you at the College:

“OMG.. you’re hacked?” ckckck. “Hey, I think someone is stalking me”. “Hey hey, do you want to know the tricks to check who is visiting your facebook page?” “Hmm who are these people? *checks social media*”. Dialog-dialog diatas merupakan kenyataan yang terjadi dalam era SNS. SNS tak lain adalah situs yang digunakan bukan hanya untuk sharing, but also stalking. Yeah I know you can delete those false and dirty actions you’ve done and then you can also set some privacy settings. And suddenly, now and then people start to care and cautious about their own privacy. But, after a certain lecture that I listen in college, saya menyadari bahwa: your activities on internet is recorded, your pattern, your history, your dirty clicks, everything. Even if you have deleted your histories and cookies, your tracks is still saved somewhere in the deep realm or what I call ‘limbo’ of the internet. Dan lebih parahnya lagi, someone with the capacity such as hacker, cracker, or tracker can withdraw your deleted content from that ‘limbo’ and use it for their own purpose, how creepy is that?

Mengingat privasi kita di Internet tidak sepenuhnya terjamin, some time ago I came across a video called “the deep web” from time.com, dan secara garis besar video tersebut membicarakan tentang situs web/software yang dinamakan “Tor Network”.

Logo "Tor Network". sumber: serviceoebjects.com
Logo “Tor Network”. sumber: serviceoebjects.com

Tor yang merupakan singkatan dari The Onion Route merupakan software gratis digunakan untuk memungkinkan adanya online anonymity (anonimitas ketika online). To be exact, what Tor will do is actually concealing your IP address. Jadi status koneksi kamu terhadap internet ketika menggunakan Tor Network adalah anonymous. However, that doesn’t mean your privacy is secure one hundred percent, a super-duper expert individual may still can trace you in Tor. But at least it will minimize your risk to be tracked by that unknown alien.

I haven’t used Tor Network, but if you want to try it, you can click here! Be my guest and tell me your experience!